Have you ever hit the intarwebs in search of a really good, high quality Halloween costume only to discover that the only costumes made these days are of the type shown here? Plus, you find 6,274 online stores selling a Captain Hook outfit but every store is selling the exact same product. By the way, that piece of shit is $80. I actually bought that one once. It looked kinda nice and it was called the Captain Hook Prestige costume. Prestige. Nice. Must have.
When I got it I was so disappointed I nearly stabbed my roommate upon opening the package. The fabric was spun plastic shit that was so thin you could see through it, the yellow sash thing was about 18″ long, the plastic hook was so small my fingers alone couldn’t fit inside the black “bell” part. The shoes were some 3″x3″ plastic covers. The jacket was open down the back. And the best part… this adult “one size fits all” costume was so small I couldn’t even get my hands through the cuffs.
So here I am trying to find a costume only to once again be completely and utterly disappointed. What has happened to quality of product? Why can’t I find a decent costume anywhere? Everything is made so cheaply. Nothing has value. Nothing lasts anymore. My parents had costumes they kept for years, made of real fabric. Costumes made so well that I was able to wear them as a kid. This piece of shit pirate getup wouldn’t last through a full night of partying! Plus, one would think that for $80 it would at least be real fabric or have elastic in the cuffs.
So I’m left with one solution. Make my own. A friend will help me. She knows more about this than I, a simple monkey.